Men will be Men

 

01:25 Late Night

“Guys, do you even know where am gonna be in next 15 days? London.  Can’t you believe it, you just can’t believe I cracked GMAT & got admission to M.B.A. & that too at Brunel University. You people always called me Fattoo, but, today, let me tell you that I am not one. In fact you guys are the fucking losers. You people will remain losers throughout life. You have never succeeded in your life & you won’t ever. You guys never had any girl in your life & none of you can have one ever. Never ever. I have with me Mehak, one of the most desirable girl of our entire batch, what about you guys………” & with those words of Fattoo the beer effect on rest three of us disappeared.

18:20, Early Evening

“Hey Dude, I did it, I just did it.” exclaimed Pranav, “What?” I replied.

“Will tell you, don’t worry& let me tell you that you have to join us as we are going to party tonight. Will booze Dude” He added “Be ready fast, I’ll pick you at 7:30”

“Not today bro, may be we can plan sometime next weekend.” I said.  

“Fuck off dude, I don’t seek your advice”

“What the hell!!!” I wondered, “First tell me what the matter is? Don’t tell me that you got a new car again or have you tied the knot with Mehak running away from her ugly dad” Those words of mine took me to some other world. I could clearly visualize Pranav laying down on his knees pleading for life from this brutal to-be father in law, Mehak’s dad.

“I got admission to M.B.A. at Brunel University dude. I’ll be flying to London soon”

“What!!!!”

“Yeah, am gonna leave this shit job. I always knew I am not made to be here & I am going where I ought to be”

“Are you serious? Anyways congrats, & yes that’s an occasion to celebrate & will make it a memorable night. Don’t worry bro, we’ll Rock!!!”, but that definitely gave me a sigh of relief, at least that son-of-a-bitch had not committed what he had always chattered of, that he will run away & tie the knot with Mehak someday, of that the probability being just next to zero having myriad reasons. First, Pranav being a all-time Fattoo, had I known him some past 6 years. Secondly, Mehak was an intellect who hardly can endeavor any such bungle, she was a down to earth girl with conformist belief, although she had already made one, falling in love with Pranav, was a different issue. I would have killed both of them if they had committed any such gaffe & then I would have invited CB to write a book capturing Mehak’s life “Three mistakes of my Life – Part II”. Two of them had been mentioned above, which were second & third mistakes of her life, the first one had been rejecting me some five years back while we were still in college, me, Pranav & Mehak. Today I felt proud sacrificing my love to my friend, what else shall I say when I summoned no courage to even initiate conversation with her in contrast Pranav always used to stroll around girls leaving no chance to showcase his dad’s affluence. He was conceited, a brag & a whited sepulcher who pretend himself a philanderer. He termed himself to be a sweet & cute who actually looked like a school kid, or better say a Eighth grade student with somewhat fair complexion, middling looks, curly hairs & moreover he was successor to a rich Industrialist. He was a short guy with a height of mere five feet five inches wearing an untrimmed beard and an incandescent spectacle. I never understood what fascinated Mehak to him. She had exceedingly disparate persona as of Pranav’s. She was milky fair, predominantly beautiful with soft silky shimmering hairs and exceedingly dazzling pink lips. I always wanted to kiss them & find them hard to defy whenever my gaze fall on them. On top of the list she was highly adorable, amiable & striking. She was the cutest girl of our entire batch building an off beam connects with him. She was one of those another hundreds of girls on whom I had a crush but in contrast I had been discarded by each of them. I just loathed this haughty man; kid could have been a better adjective to him. I mean he was just five feet five inches tall who had not had any form of hair on his face, just few countable feathers like tresses over his upper lips. But to remind myself he was cute, he was loquacious, a spoilt brat & above all he was moneyed, that’s all needed to exert a pull on girls. I cursed myself being Tall, dark & handsome. I was not that tall, just five feet nine inches, a bit extra dark & not so handsome was a different issue. But I never found any good reason for her to opt for Pranav over me. I found myself to be a strong contender for her.

At 8:30, we reached V2 Pub at Sector 18. With me & Pranav, Shitij & Mukul were also there, another 2 lukkhas to accompany us who too never had any love life just like me. We were just entering the pub when a giant monster appeared from nowhere & it seemed like a giant wall has been constructed within micro-seconds, I wondered of the gargantuan formation of so-called bouncer. We had certain discussion with him which turned to arguments, & when nothing worked we tried to keep them to negotiation but all in vain, in due course we were not allowed to enter for not having girls with us. The name “V2” was a synonym to “WE TWO” & “STAG” entry was a strict “NO GO”

We stride back downstairs & stood roadside discussing the proceedings.

“Pass me the cigarette dude” Fattoo exclaimed all of sudden; I understand nothing as I have never seen him smoking. Shitij passed him the pack, he lit one & started walking like a hunk, took puff of the cigarette, emancipate smoke to make smoke rings, another futile attempt. “Where are you going?” I asked.

“Just wait & watch guys.”

He stepped towards the pillar behind which were standing three girls, one of whom was wearing short western outfit which couldn’t restrict displaying her flashy thighs, the other one wore a backless top with a short flared skirt, the third one smoked a cigarette. All of them seemed like they belonged to so-called High Class society. Fattoo went there, had some words with them & then he came back looking bit disappointed. He said “Guys, lets go somewhere else” We asked him about his discussions with those girls but he didn’t replied. After a short discussion we dumped the idea of going to any other Pub & finally decided to go to Fattoo’s Farmhouse on NH – 8. I took the steering wheel & fired the engine of the sexy Volkswagen. It was the recent gift to Pranav by his dad on his last birthday. We drove towards the Delhi – Jaipur highway. On our way, we got a carat of beer cans from Vasant Kunj & got the ice cube jar filled. I tuned on to 98.3 to snoop my favorite RJ Sayema playing classics on “Purani Jeans”, her voice so soothing to woo my soul. We opened our first beer cans after crossing the Ambience Mall. We had just reached Rajiv Chowk, Fattoo threw his empty beer can out of the car window & asked Shitij to pass him another cigarette. We wondered & then Mukul inquired again of his discussion with those girls.

“Chod na yaar, mood ki Maa Bahen kar di saali ne”. Leave it man, she spoiled the whole mood. He said, his hand reaching towards beer carat to fetch another beer can. He opened his second one. After a short while he told us that he went there to make a deal with those girls if they can accompany us to the Pub on our expenses, but they denied accompanying of him being a kid. Laughter busted. Fattoo changed the station to discover how Munni turned Jawaan & why Sheela hui Badnaam. I parked the car roadside to facilitate Fattoo & Mukul on their “Go Green” initiative. Their strong determination reflected in the longevity of their act. Mukul returned & took his seat while Fattoo still continued. He turned back & stepped towards the car, I pressed the accelerator, Fattoo ran, I pressed Brake, Fattoo stopped & started walking, accelerator again, Fattoo ran again, “Bhaag D K Bose, Aandhi aayi” was the song playing on the radio. It started raining.

            At 11:30 we reached our destination, till now all of us were down with beer flowing in our veins. We had our dinner like fresh flesh had been offered to Monsters who were about to die of starvation.

             It was 01:15, when Shitij, Mukul & I were playing cards. We heard some murmurs. It was Fattoo exclaiming in his dreams as if a rapist is protesting himself to be innocent. May be, it was the impact of the conversation held an hour ago when he became the target of the curses from the rest three of us. Neither of us left any void unfilled & he was just listening to the abuses & the curse, unspoken. He was victimized for being a rich dad’s son.     

The lavish clock on Fattoo’s wrist reflected 01:25. He woke up. His eyes revealed the revenge in them. I could clearly visualize him bust vehemently…

 

“Guys, do you even know where am gonna be in next 15 days? London.  Can’t you believe it, you just can’t believe I cracked GMAT & got admission to M.B.A. & that too at Brunel University. You people always called me Fattoo, but, today, let me tell you that I am not one. In fact you guys are the fucking losers. You people will remain losers throughout life. You have never succeeded in your life & you won’t ever. You guys never had any girl in your life & none of you can have one ever. Never ever. I have with me Mehak, one of the most desirable girl of our entire batch, what about you guys………” but his words came as a bigger surprise. He said “You guys can say whatever but let me tell you that I just love you people. You are the best people I have ever met. I will miss you always” His cheeks got wet. My gaze fell on Shitij’s, shrugged & with those words of Fattoo the beer effect on rest three of us disappeared.

All four of us hugged each other.

“Bus us saali ne mood ki maa bahen kar di, but she was HOT, guys…….” Pranav murmured smiling. Laughter busted.