The Airport Saga

The view outside the departure at Indian Airports is quite a sight. No matter in which part of the country you are or where you are heading to, you will definitely find a selected category of the friends/relatives outside the departure gate of the airports. The only difference is that each airport has scheduled departure to certain countries. The airport in Chandigarh has flights for Canada & London. The flight from Cochin are heading to Dubai. The flights from Ahmedabad are scheduled to fly to UK. Flights from Chennai & Bangalore are headed to US of A. And all the flights trains from Bihar are going to Mumbai. These categories are as follows:

Category 1: The ultra-emotional parents

The moment you reach the airport, you could see a teenager boy who is flying to US to pursue his dreams (by dreams I mean MS!). You can easily make out just by looking at his attitude that this guy is flying to US. He will be flashing his brand new I-phone, a Sony headphone hanging around his neck, wearing loose jeans, which would be falling below his waistline and a loose tee hanging around the skinny skeleton. His hairs falling apart, just like his life. You could also see that tensed look on his parent’s faces. His mother would be holding a dabba containing all sorts of Indian snacks, which he would eat in the flight, her eyes holding an expression that says “Don’t share it with anyone in the flight”. On the contrary the guy is giving back the expression, “Mumma, I am going to the United States of Americaaaa. You really want to do this to me? What will other people in the flight think of me?” He would already has these all sort of visuals of this hot girl sitting next to him, who he would be dating in the United states of Americaaaa. Then he would go into his own created dreamland….

“Would you like to have a drink?

Yeah sure. The airhostess filled his glass with French Wine.

And for you ma’am?

Yes, please. And the airhostess filled a wine of glass for the lady.

The two of them toasted. “

His dream would then be broken by the loud voice his mother, “Beta, ye khakra rakh le, raaste main kha lena.”

The father of the guy would be like, “Beta, bahut paise kharch kiye hain, khabardar is baar fail hua to.”

The son would then finally bid goodbye to the parents and the parents will remain standing outside the departure. They would shout from far, “Beta hum wait kar rahe hain. Tu samaan weight kar le, jyada hua to humme de dena, hum ghar le jayenge!”

 

Category 2: Husband’s first onsite to Europe

This guy is carrying an IBM laptop on his shoulder. The excitement can be seen from the faces of everyone out there. He is excited for his first onsite trip, which he has fought for with his manager. He has plans already to visit Amsterdam over the weekend. Party every night. And then, he is devising a strategy in his mind how he would impress the client and get the job in the company & settle down there in Europe. Guess what! He has already imagined the visuals of how he would threaten his current boss who would be his client then. Job in Europe, chilled beer, beautiful babes… life is set.

“Dad, what is famous in Europe?” His son is already expecting some expensive gifts from Europe.

Girls. His father fantasises.

“Chocolates! European Chocolates are quite famous. I’ll get you some.” And his son is like, “Chutiya kisi aur ko banana. Europe main sex-toys milte hian. Kuch lao accha sa.”

And at that exact moment, his wife screams, “Suno ji, maine suna hia duty free par Channel ki perfume bahut sasti milti hai. Wo Ria ka husband uske liye 2 perfume laaya tha”.

“OK”, he says.

Now the wife is not sure what does this OK means? “Did he even listen to what I said? Doesn’t matter”.  She wonders. She keeps listing a few other things that she expects his husband to bring for him and the husband is still travelling in his train of thoughts.

Category 3: Honeymoon couples:

Do I really need to describe how to identify a honeymoon couple? Well, you can see the excitement on the faces of both of them. The girl is super excited to flaunt her Indian version of bikinis. You can easily read her excitement in her face and glittering eyes. The things, which she is most excited about is, wearing new dresses, her expensive perfumes and her make-up kit, that consumes half of her suitcase.

The guy is most excited to buy cheap whisky from the airport and for the opportunity to see white babes in bikini’s.  

Category 4: Just that random dude:

Then there is this random dude who is going abroad for ‘God-Knows-Why’ purpose. The dude will be having just a handbag which includes everything needed for his trip. The luggage would mostly contain a laptop, headphones, Gillette face wash, hair gel, deo, external hard disk & some pen-drives. In some cases, there might be a couple of tees & probably some undies. There will be another guy, who would call himself as his bro, who had come to drop him to the airport in an auto-rickshaw. This bro would bid-goodbye with a hug & a whisper in his ear “Dude, get me a Chivas.” And the dude going abroad would throw him a look, “Tere  baap ne Chives pee hai kabhi? Chivas peeyega.”

The dude would then hurriedly get inside the airport & the turn back to wave at his friend. The bro outside is all the more excited and jumping, waving good-bye. And then the dude would turn around & head for the check-in counter. At that exact moment his cell-phone rang. The dude checks the phone, its bro.

“Hello

Bhai, la na!!!

Kya lau b****cho?

Chivas. Phone disconnects.”